Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
