My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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