Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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