She said her name was "party"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
