FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
