I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
