i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
