so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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