I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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