Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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