I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your penis caused this!
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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