That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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