I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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