I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
