apparently the secret to your success is patron
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's great music for shaving your balls
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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