He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
