Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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