What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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