no, he came in my armpit
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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