people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize