I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
