..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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