Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
