you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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