Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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