Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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