Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Farmville is her only friend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just want nice things and good sex
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
