K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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