Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
