If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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