Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
