I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
