you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude i'm inner monologue high
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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