I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize