I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.