Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
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Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this