dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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