so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
