If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
