i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
