I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
