whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
