I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I want a musical about memes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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