In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
