Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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