I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They have beer where we have blood.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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