i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
