So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
