feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
