I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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