Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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