I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Buhtt sex?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
