Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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