i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize