I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
