yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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