ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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