i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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