he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize