Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
