Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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