Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
