You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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