Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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