I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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