Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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