Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
