Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
and you fell through a lawn chair
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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