at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
