Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
