dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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