it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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