Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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