She is in my trunk
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize