It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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