So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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